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Quack Devices

Quack Devices, Quake Devices [Easter]

March 23, 2008

Text: 1 Corinthians 15:1-9, 12-20, 30-32

“Have I got something for you today, friends!

“This little device—the Elect-Treat—will take away your pain, once and for all!

“It uses the healing powers of electricity. You put batteries in, adjust the intensity, and a current of relief will go through the roller and the pad.

“Just look at a few of the uses…

“But don’t take my word for it. Just ask [someone from congregation]—the Elect-Treat cured his lumbago, right? You’re happy, right? You’re willing to pay $100 for this, right?

“Mastercard accepted, as well as cash.”

Now, I couldn’t make something like this up. This “Elect-Treat” is a “quack” device. Something people sold in the 1800-early 1900’s that made outlandish claims, and it was always based on some angle. For this device it was the miraculous healing power of the mysterious thing called electricity.

Another quack device, or quack medicine, was snake oil. In the late 1800’s people sold bottles like this…

…That supposedly claimed to contain rattlesnake oil. One snake oil salesman wrote in his advertisement that it’s "the strongest and best liniment known for the cure of all pain,”—anything from arthritis to frost bite. Promising "immediate relief," it sold for fifty cents a bottle (Fowler 1997, vi, 10-12).--http://www.csicop.org/sb/9812/snakeoil.html

The wonders of electric current, snake oil, and…

Jesus.

You know, sometimes Jesus has been marketed as a quack device.

“Come to Jesus,” a preacher pleads, “and EVERYTHING will be OK. Your cancer will be gone…your mortgage will be covered…your marriage will be better. Yes, come to Jesus—and while you’re coming…drop a little into the offering plate.”

Some people can make things sound so simple—say a few magic words, believe a few simple statements, and you’ll get what you want—salvation, healing, prosperity, whatever.

And you know what? Like a good quack device salesperson, they back it up with a testimony. They say, “Do you know HOW Jesus will do this for you? Because JESUS was raised from the dead—and if he can do that, then he is able to give you what you want. Just listen to the testimony of the BIBLE:”

Now I would remind you, brothers and sisters, of the good news that I proclaimed to you…

3 For I handed on to you as of first importance what I in turn had received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the scriptures, 4 and that he was buried, and that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. 6 Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers and sisters at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have died. 7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. 8 Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me.

What you just heard is the earliest account of the Resurrection. It was written a scant twenty years after the fact. It was written before Luke’s, with the Emmaus Road incident; before Matthew’s, with the scared guards; before John’s, with Mary mistaking Jesus for the gardener.

Now, let me let you in on a secret. Sometimes, people use the Bible to make it say what they want it to say. The quack device preacher would make sure the liturgist didn’t read any farther.

HOWEVER—Paul’s testimony continues.

19 If for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

20 But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have died… 30 [Otherwise,] why are we putting ourselves in danger every hour? 31 I die every day! That is as certain, brothers and sisters, as my boasting of you — a boast that I make in Christ Jesus our Lord. 32 If with merely human hopes I fought with wild animals at Ephesus, what would I have gained by it? If the dead are not raised,

"Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die."

Do you hear that? Because Jesus was raised from the dead, I DO NOT get relief from every pain known to humankind. Indeed, because Jesus was raised from the dead…I am put in danger every hour…I feel as if I die every day…I’ve had to fight fight after fight because I believe Jesus was raised from the dead…If Jesus wasn’t raised from the dead, and I’ve gone through all this pain, I am to be pitied above everyone else.

Do you hear that, brothers and sisters? BECAUSE JESUS WAS RESURRECTED, Paul allowed himself to be abused and beaten. Legend has it that he was beheaded in Rome by Nero.

No, the quack preacher doesn’t want you to hear this scripture. That’s because the truth of the matter is that…

JESUS WASN’T RESURRECTED TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT.

But if Jesus wasn’t resurrected to give us what we want, then why in the world did Paul go through all this? What’s his payoff? What was so wonderful about the Resurrection that Paul was willing to go through awful stuff? What’s so wonderful about the Resurrection that Paul went out every day and said, “Listen—he LIVES, he LIVES! I’ve seen him!” Why would he say this, regardless of the consequences?

Let me ask you a question. Don’t answer, just think about it.

What scares you?

When you get right down to it, it’s one thing:

DEATH.

It’s because we’re scared to death of death, that we do all sorts of crazy things. We focus on “eating and drinking” now, Paul says, because tomorrow we’re wormfood. Because we’re going to die anyway, let’s grab for all the gusto we can. Bigger bank account. Replaceable spouse. A tummy-tuck here, a face lift there.

But now, because of the Resurrection, it’s all changed.

Paul says it a few verses later:

“Death is swallowed up in victory! O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting?”

Do you hear what Paul is doing? He’s looking into the face of humankind’s biggest enemy—DEATH—and laughing at it. He’s taunting it—“Hey, you big bully—you don’t scare me any more. Jesus beat you. Jesus put you in your place. Jesus exposed you for the coward you are. You don’t scare me any more. Hit me with your best shot, you marshmallow!”

When Paul saw the resurrected Jesus, THIS is the message he heard. Jesus destroyed the power of death for us. Paul knew instantly that if DEATH has been destroyed, nothing can hold back LIFE.

I like what one person once said, reflecting on this very message of the Resurrection:

It is always the empty tomb that we are afraid of. It would be so simple to live without the disquieting whisper of immortality in our hearts, to say there are no eternal issues folded in working days, and to lie down at the end of those days in an eternal sleep. But we have seen the stone rolled away and the Easter sunshine streaming into an empty tomb. Now we know that death is not a call to sleep, it is a call to life and work. We know that there is no meaning in life's hereafter that is not folded in life's today. We are wholly committed to our immortality. We are led out of the shadow of death into the solemn shadow of life…The lesson of the graveyard has always been held to be the brevity of life. But the lesson of the grave in Joseph's garden--the empty grave by which we are standing this morning--is the brevity of death.

--From A Thornless World, And Other Sermons (London: Charles Kelly, 1912)

Because of the open tomb, we do know that death is brief.

And we know that life is sweet.

Because death has been defeated, YOU have…power to live past your problems…hope to go through your problems…wisdom to outsmart your problems…companionship to help you with your problems.

Because death has been defeated, YOU can say to your WORRIES—I believe in someone bigger than you…YOU can say to your ANXIETY—I have brothers and sisters who can see me through…YOU can say to ANY problem—“You don’t scare me any more.”

Do you see?

Jesus wasn’t resurrected to give you what you want.

JESUS WAS RESURRECTED TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED.

However—there’s a catch.

If you’re going to let Jesus give you what you need, you have to give up living life on your own—trying to scheme and dream. If you’ve never made a personal commitment to him—if you’ve never had a good one-on-one with him, do that today. At this altar, or at your private altar, you say, “I give you my life, LIVING Christ.”

Yes, there’s a catch.

If Jesus is going to give you what you need, you’re going to have to give up assumptions, prejudices, and fears. The world is now a place of limitless possibility—so how dare you say, “Let’s not do that, because we’ve never done that before.” GOD IS IN THE BUSINESS OF DOING THINGS THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE—i.e., the open tomb. So today, trust the living Christ, and start doing never-before-done things. After all, Paul once said, “I can do ALL THINGS through the living Christ, who strengthens me.”

Yes, there’s a catch.

If you’re going to let Jesus give you what you need, you are going to have to open your heart, mind, and eyes to follow where he leads. He may lead you to a new set of friends. He may lead you into a new job, one that’s fulfilling and not confining. He may lead you to some new adventure in which you can make a difference in someone’s life. He may lead you to a new understanding of yourself.

Jesus will not allow himself to be used as a quack device.

BUT…he more than welcomes being used as a “quake” device.

Jesus is in the business of SHAKING things up. He wants to let you live BEYOND the tomb.

As you leave this place this morning, let the risen Christ ROCK your world!